L.A. Times Columnist Blames Conservatives for Everything

Bad news guys. It turns out that we conservatives are actually responsible for all the bad stuff that’s been happening in the world!

Yeah, that’s pretty disheartening, isn’t it? So, apparently, we invented racism, and America is more responsible for more slavery than any other country ever. Not only that, but when it came time to abolish slavery, the thousands and thousands of white men who fought to destroy the institution were only doing it as a joke. They just thought it would be really ironic to fight and die to free the slaves. Crazy, right!?

Oh, and you know what else? It turns out that when conservatives say they know how to spend their own money better than the government does, that’s actually because they are greedy. Yeah. They are just afraid that a black person will benefit from their tax money that they cling to it bitterly. Also, it isn’t greedy at all for a politician to take away a person’s earnings, neither is it greedy to vote for someone who promises to give someone else’s earning to you.

Who knew, right?

Oh, and there’s one more thing. Wanting to defend your home is also a serious sign of poor character. Apparently, in order to be loving, good people, we should let anyone come into our homes who wants to come in. Man, that sounds really intelligent.

Here’s Jesse Lee Peterson with a prize-winning LA communist who will help us understand just how mean and terrible we really are.