Gutfeld: Liberals Don’t Realize How Free America Is
We have terrible news. It has just come to light that President Trump is a robot. Yes, it’s true. He’s an evil Russian robot, constructed on Mars under the technical supervision of satanic aliens working under the orders of Vladimir Putin himself.
We understand this is shocking. But we must all hunker down, begin hoarding water and Pez dispensers to start preparing for the nuclear apocalypse.
No one can say when Robo-Emperor Trump will unleash the radioactive death weasels, begin firing off unicorn-shaped, golden MOABs, and blast the big red button with his trusty can of industrial-grade hairspray. We only know that we must prepare now.
Your first move should be to staple your face to the television, tune in to Fox News and begin rubbing whiskey on your gums. Collaborate with your neighbors to make a boat out of water bottles and hot glue so that you can escape the coming flood of rat spit and dog vomit and pray to your mothers that the sun will rise again.
Always remember, we can say crazy things like this because we live in a country where free speech is protected. CNN and MSDNC should thank their lucky stars for that. Otherwise, they would have been run out of the country by now.
Here’s Greg Gutfeld with more.
~ Liberty Video News